Chuck Hagel on Iraq

As a matter of policy, I don’t link to online newspapers. Those links turn to broken links, usually in about two weeks. Nevertheless, I’ve made an exception. Go forth and read Senator Chuck Hagel’s (R – Nebraska) letter to WAPO.

Could Chuck be presidential timber?

(Hat-tip to The Lady Speaks)

Alabama media fixated on Mike Shula

Alabama’s sports media is fixated on Mike Shula. Sports, page one, in today’s Mobile Press Register featured one story about Shula’s buyout clause, and another screed by flaccid Paul Finebaum.

The rag did note that embattled Miami Hurricane coach Larry Coker had been canned. It didn’t mention, however, that this is potentially the biggest football story in the state, in as much as Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville might figure prominently in Miami’s coaching search.

Tuberville spent nearly a decade as an assistant at Miami. He’s also much higher profile than any of the candidates for the Miami job mentioned in the Press Register article. That’s not to say he’s a candidate. I don’t know. I would think, short of a Spurrier, Tressel, or Carroll, Tuberville would be on any short-list of schools serious about winning. (Of course Tressel and Carroll aren’t going anywhere. They are  benchmarks.) Auburn, while a great job, isn’t Miami. There’s more football talent coming out of south Florida than anywhere else in the country.

Nary a word about the Miami-Tuberville connection in the Mobile paper though. The semi-literate writers working there are on jihad against Alabama coach Mike Shula, and when you’re at war, little things like the status of the coach of the state’s premier college football team aren’t on your radar.

Redneck-jihad against Mike Shula escalates

Radio host, columnist, and Tennessee alum Paul Finebaum continues to lead the redneck-jihad for the job of Mike Shula. Finebaum blithely ignores the main fact concerning Alabama’s mediocre showing this year; that Alabama doesn’t have enough good football players to compete in the most competitive conference in the country. Nope, Finebaum’s screeds are devoid of any facts, save stats pointing out that Alabama isn’t very good, a point most fans are aware of, and that doesn’t surprise the knowledgeable in the least.

Finebaum’s disdain for Coach Shula is obviously personal. Whether it’s because Shula doesn’t want to be his pal, or doesn’t trust him because he’s a UT alum, is anybody’s guess. I find it odd that a UT alum is as immersed in Alabama football as Finebaum is, but ‘Bama is known for football, and not for brains.

Now, thanks to win-at all-costs folks like Finebaum, Alabama is as famous for cheating as for winning championships. Coach Shula, whatever else he may be, is a man of integrity that won’t condone that sort of bullshit on his watch. Could that be part of Paul Finebaum’s problem with Mike Shula?

Let me break it down for the rednecks and inbreds that make up the “fire Shula” camp. The crimson jerseys aren’t magical. If there aren’t enough high-quality, scholarship athletes filling the crimson jerseys, the Crimson Tide isn’t going to be successful. Alabama is down 21, count them, 21, scholarship athletes. That means that 21 of the crimson jerseys are filled with sub-standard football players.

If you’re mathematically challenged, and big numbers like 21 trouble you, think of it in different terms. If Alabama had two or three more quality offensive lineman, a couple more quality defensive lineman, another good back, an additional quality receiver, and a few more good athletes on defense, do you think they’d have gone six and six this year? Of course not. Do you think they’d be down 21 athletes if part of the fan base wasn’t comprised of out of control, win-at-all-costs fans? Of course not.

When, not if, Alabama is caught cheating again, it’ll mean the death penalty for one of college football’s most storied programs. It won’t happen on Coach Shula’s watch. But fire Shula now and replace him with anyone of less stature than a Steve Spurrier, and it’ll happen soon thereafter. The win-at-all-cost mindset will have prevailed. Auburn will then be the dominant football power in the state for the rest of the century, instead of the century’s first decade.

9/11 conspiracy theories are bs

Is the US government covering up the truth about the 9/11 attacks? Worse, was the government somehow involved? A large number of otherwise-sane citizens think so.

I’m a product of the times I live in, namely, the Age of Bullshit. As a result I’m naturally suspicious. Nevertheless, I haven’t seen or heard one thing that causes me to believe there’s more to the 9/11 tragedy than immediately meets the eye. The attacks were orchestrated and carried out by Muslim religious fanatics. End of story.

Why do so many people buy into senseless bullshit like conspiracy theories? Isn’t the sad state of affairs that is reality bad enough for them? I don’t know, but I have three possible reasons for people believing the unbelievable.

• Our government has so thoroughly discredited itself with its ongoing shenanigans that people are willing to believe it’s essentially the root of all evil.
• We’ve done such a bad job of educating our citizens that most don’t have the critical thinking skills necessary to differentiate the true from the false.
• Many of us are ennui-crazed and will believe anything we gain a moment of amusement from.

It makes no difference to me if you believe Elvis is still alive or that Jesus is en route. Delusions are healthy. I like to think I’m smart and good-looking. But wasting time on conspiracy theories about 9/11 when the truth is so glaringly obvious? It’s mental masturbation.

Unwanted guests begone!

Here’s a tried and true remedy for ridding yourself of unwanted guests. It works well on those who drop by unannounced, be they sales people, church people, or tipsy chicks that for whatever reason, you don’t find attractive. For that matter, it should work on just about anybody, save the very hardcore, that breachs your front door. I wouldn’t recommend this procedure if you live in an apartment, or in any other way extremely close proximity to your neighbors. Additionally, it might cause tinnitus if used too frequently. It works best on groups of two or more. You’ll need a killer stereo and a copy of Stevie Ray Vaughn’s “Tight Rope”.

Here’s what you do. Tell your visitors you have a brand new, state of the art stereo. With a big smile and adolescent-enthusiasm, ask the visitors if they “want to see how loud your new stereo will go?”. It’s almost foolproof. In my experience, they fall for it every time, probably because the stereo is “new” and they are stupid. Once they do (fall for it), cue up “Tight Rope” and set the volume just loud enough to prohibit quiet conversation. Let your eyes glaze over and try and tune your company out as best you can. Then, just as the guitar solo begins, flash a grin, and with no warning, CRANK IT! I can almost guarantee that just as little pieces of your ceiling begin fluttering down your pests will take their leave.

As noted, don’t try this in an apartment. If you do, you’ll likely exchange one set of unwanted visitors for another. (The police.) Additionally, if you don’t have “Tight Rope”, “Statesboro Blues” by the Allman Brothers Band will do nicely.

Good luck and good riddance.

Illegal immigration good or bad?

Illegal immigration is a hot topic in the ’sphere about now. I visit blogs of all political persuasions throughout WordPress.com, and I’d say opinion seems to run about seven against to three for an open door policy in the USA. I don’t possess the economic chops (or the intellect to acquire them) to comment on the subject intelligently. Of course something similar can be said about any subject I blog on. I don’t let awareness of my ignorance stop me from showing it.

Firstly, I have nothing against hispanics. (I realize hispanic is a bad term. I use it in the interest of brevity and clarity).  I don’t know any hispanics personally. Those that I’ve met were charming folks. I suspect that there are a few nice ones, and that most are jerks, just like I’ve found to be true in all the other races I’ve dealt with.

That said, I am concerned about how the invasion of my country by millions of potential competitors affects my future. As an unskilled, uneducated individual, I think my concerns are valid. Contrary to what Mr. Bush and his liberal buddies say, illegals aren’t just taking jobs no one wants. Anyone who works in the service or construction sectors of our economy can tell you illegal aliens are very well represented there. While those may be jobs no American wants, many of us have to work at them, en lieu of turning to crime.

In a nutshell, I don’t want to pay $100 bucks for a flat of strawberries. On the other hand, I’d like to earn enough money to afford cheap strawberries. Am I a bad person?

Presidential nonstarters for GOP

As a life-long resident of the South and recovering Southern Baptist, I am more than a little familiar with the so-called “religious right”. I think it’s pretty clear that the religious right is, for all practical purposes, the GOP’s base. Maybe I have a strong sense of the obvious, but I think the following is perfectly clear to anyone who isn’t blind in one eye, and can’t see out of the other.

Rudy Giuliani has no chance of becoming president unless he defects to the Democrats. He’s pro-gay, pro-abortion, and anti-gun. In other words, the base of the GOP won’t support him. It’s really that simple. I can’t imagine a scenario where he could win the nomination. Should he, a third party candidate would emerge and the Dems would win by default.

Rudy’s chances are, however, better than Mitch Romney’s. Mitch is a Mormon. While Mormons make up a small percentage of the religious right, there’s absolutely no chance of the bulk of the religious right supporting a Mormon. The fundamentalist and the Catholics don’t even consider Mormons to be Christians! Romney might as well be a Muslim.

Michigan vs. Ohio State

Saturday numbers one and two square off in Columbus. What’s at stake is a place in the national championship game. Or is it?

There’s more than a little chatter that if the game is a good one, then perhaps the loser deserves another shot at the winner in the title game. In theory, I don’t have a problem with that.

The only teams in the country, today, that might legitimately cry foul, are Florida and Rutgers. Unfortunately for Rutgers, they don’t play the kind of schedule that gives them much leverage. Florida does. Should the Gators manage to run the remainder of the table, they may have a gripe when, not if, they are passed by. I put the Gators chances of beating both FSU and Arkansas at less than 3 in 10.

USC will probably wind up playing for the title. They have only lost once. They haven’t played anybody, however, save for Arkansas, and Arkansas, at that point in the season, wasn’t in the top 50 percent nationally. They’ll play because they are a media darling that doesn’t have to earn it based on what they do on the field. That said, USC has as much talent as anybody. Up to this point, however, they haven’t been a very good team.

Should Michigan and Ohio State be decided by a touchdown or less, and neither team turns the ball over more than twice, then I say let them play again for all the marbles. They both have outstanding football teams.

Democrats waxing or waning?

How long will it take for the hapless Democrats to shoot themselves in the foot? Not long, if the few days since they took Congress are any indication. They’ve already chambered a round and drawn a bead just behind their big toe.

It seems that hearings are in the works concerning the war in Iraq, and the questionable intelligence the neo-cons served up as justification for it. In a phrase, that’s spilt milk. Democrats need to concentrate all their energies on getting us out of that shit-hole. How we wound up there is irrelevant as long as Americans are dying. The independents are watching the Democrats to see it they are capable of anything more than blathering and preening. It doesn’t look good so far.

Plagiarist Joe Biden has vowed that John Bolton will never be confirmed as ambassador to the UN. Most Americans probably don’t give a damn one way or the other. Those that think about it probably realize that Bolton, on his best day, is an asshole, and that an asshole is just what we need dealing with the disaster that is the UN. Joe, Bolton is insignificant. We want you to do something about Iraq.

Now some crackpot has filed charges against Don Rumsfeld in Germany because they believe he’s permitted the torture of terrorist. Let me break it down; torture bad, Rumsfeld worse, filing charges against an American in a foreign court, worst by far. I realize this isn’t the work of the Democrats per se, but it reflects badly on them, at least as I see it.

If the Democrats are serious about maintaining power for more than two years, and want to have a chance at winning the White House, they better get their shit together fast. Americans despise George Bush because he’s a terrible president. Nevertheless, I suspect most Americans, given a choice between Mr. Bush, and a Kerry or a Gore, would vote for Mr. Bush again. The ball is in the Dems court. I’m betting they fumble.

Alabama football in trouble

The natives in the ‘Bama football nation are growing restless. Redneck fans, inbred boosters, and an ego-maniacal radio show host have been calling for Coach Mike Shula’s head since the Arkansas game. The carping reached a fever pitch with the Tide’s loss to the downtrodden Mississippi State Bulldogs last Saturday. Now the editorial page of the Mobile Press Register wants AD Mal Moore fired. Fact is, all the negative hoopla is bullshit being spread by people too dumb to appreciate the challenges faced by Shula and Moore.

The Crimson Tide is lucky to be able to field any team today, considering it came within a hair of receiving the NCAA’s death penalty in 2002. The program was hit with draconian penalties which included the loss of 21 scholarships between 2003 and 2005. What that means, in essence, is that the Tide is playing without a full compliment of sophomore, junior, and senior stud football players. These penalties were designed to hurt the program.

They did. Alabama is a very mediocre football team this year. If they were anything more, it would be a fluke, much like last year’s over-achieving team proved to be. Mike Shula and Mal Moore are rebuilding the program, essentially from the ground up. It’s going to take time. Bear Bryant wouldn’t be faring any better on the Capstone today than is Coach Shula. Coaches don’t win games. Big-time, stud recruits do. But the rednecks that comprise the bulk of the Alabama fan base don’t get this. They believe the crimson jerseys are magical and that the quantity and quality of the talent is irrelevant.

It’ll be two more years, minimum, before any realistic appraisal of Mike Shula’s coaching ability can be made. True, Mal Moore has made some stupid hires, but calling for his head now is self-defeating. In another year or two, with the stench of the cheating Alabama is now famous for beginning to abate, a top-flight athletic director, maybe even Ozzie Newsome, can be brought in if needed. I, for one, believe things are more or less on schedule in Tuscaloosa. Coach Shula understands what it takes to win in the SEC, namely defense and a strong running game. That’s what he’s working towards. It’s going to take time, just like it’s supposed to when out-of-control fans have nearly destroyed your program.